Will you PLEASE HELP ME in evaluating my CV "personal statement"?

Question

I know many people lie in their CV just to get the job... I have been very honest in everything I wrote down and if you notice, did not say that any of it was my strongest points. My personal statement could and would be applicable to most job really, so I believe... Would you agree?

This is what I wrote:

"Would describe myself as a hard working person, always striving to do my best. Possessing qualities that are of an advantage at the work place and in life too, such as being: friendly, responsible, patient and trustworthy just to name a few. Most of them coming into good use when working within team or on my own if it has to be so. Something that's very important to me, is to treat everyone as I would like to be treated, which in return, helps create a better atmosphere between me and everyone that surrounds me, showing genuine respect. Along with a good sense of humor, I'm ready to face any task or problem that may come up, dealing with it all in good time and efficiently. A downside about myself, is that I do not have my own transport yet, but I do hold a full UK driving license for nearly a year now. This is my personal statement, this, is me."

So... what do you think? Is it eye catching and does it stand out?


Any advise and help would be much appreciated. Do note, that English is not my first language and my speaking is nowhere as good as my writing and I assure you, I wrote/typed it all myself.

Thank you.

PS - Should I note down that I speak 2 languages fluently?

PPS - You are welcome to copy and paste my personal statement if it is good, but then you'd be lying because not everyone is the same :P

Answer 1

I appreciate what you are trying to achieve here but at the end of the day this is your assessment of yourself, so it is unlikely to be bad one. Ultimately, the proof will come after you get the job.



Personal statements I agree should stand out. The best strategy is to keep it short, simple and to the point. When you are sifting through 100's if not 1000's of CV's they all start to look and read the same.



A statement or header as simple as "I am ...Passionate, Driven & Committed", summing yourself up in a few words may prove more effective. Think of yourself as a product or brand. You are trying to market your brand to a potential employer. Ask yourself, what are your unique selling points. What differentiates yourself from the pack?



As for your CV, too often they read like job descriptions. Avoid telling your potential employer about your duties and responsibilities, rather focus on your achievements. What you have done to influenece the business whether it be: financial; consumer growth; cultural change; employee retention etc Appeal to your potential employer's desire to grow their business / reduce their expenses etc. This will add value to your overall proposition ie "Employee me and I will impact your business in XYZ ways..."



I hope this helps. I wish you every success

Answer 2

You want it to stand out....change the style of it

Nearly everyone uses this type of structure (sentences) change it up, the style I use (used before o got a job) is bullet point style personal statement, it stand out so much more and gets to the point, which employers want to see... Example



Personal statement

*hardworking and reliable

*fluent in 2 languages

*team player and also work effeciantly on own

*commited and motivated

*etc

*etc



About 10 down will do with 3 Max per bullet point, try to get similar ones with each bullet point. This way you take out all the rubbish an employer doesn't want to see and gets to the point, which is what a personal statement should do, like I said an employer can read over 100 CV`s per day, if you use this YOUR CV WILL stand out



If you want to go with your structure I would advise you to shorten it, statements, especially for casual ones like you state, only should be about 5-8 sentences long

Answer 3

Hey, Joy here love to help you out today.



I am 42 now so tried many tweaks of my CV so very experienced with the whole CV and interview process



one thing I can guarantee you that the company never ever reads your personal statement, qualities such as 'hard working' and 'friendly' don't really make good business ..





what they want to know is that you've read their company profile and that your ambitions align with theirs



a big sin is to write the word I or Strive anywhere in your cv, there are only Can do, Have done or Seeking to - talk about it in the third person



A professional statement in bullet point format would be far better; outlining your strengths. never draw attention to your weaknesses Ever unless they ask



do it like this;



First page of CV - centred and in bold



Your name and phone number

City of residence not your address!

and your availability; Available immediately or one / two weeks notice



Experience;



-xx Years in a position of responsibility

-xx Years customer facing experience

-xx Years working on multinational

-xx Years Fluent in speaking, reading and writing of French, German, and English





this way the first few lines on the first page of your cv hits them in the face;



you live in their city

you are easily contactable

you are available straight away

and you have xxx experience in their industry

you are multilingual and that's an attractive quality -- they can offer you a slightly higher rate and you are good for their company





this wets their appetite to read on



they usually decide in about 10 seconds if they want to read more.

then next paragraph do a credentials bullet point list which shows your soft skills;

I took these based on your personal statement and made them into a more professional way of putting it;;





Credentials

-xx yrs. Ability to remain calm and act professionally seeing problems through to resolution

-Natural self starter able to grasp new challenges and organize people into action

-Looking to buy own transport in the next six months

-Ambitious with career and looking to increase responsibility once proven in the role

-Looking for a long term commitment in COMPANYX and to grow a professional career in an industry leader



edit: for your PS DEFINATELY put your two languages in!! it is a key advantage over rival candidates



PPS I wouldn't use the original personal statement or any personal statement -



I really hope you get the job, and if my answer was useful for you rate it :) xo



Joy





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New Edit - I appreciated that you were definitely less experienced - the advice is solid



the personal statement you can reveal at the interview once threy are interested in you



It is there you have a great opportunity to tell them about your bubbly personality and really show them your interpersonal skills - it's hard to describe that on paper.



I think a big mistake of people is that they reveal all their cards on the CV - and save no surprises for the employer at the interview - the employer likes your professionalism on paper, gets you in and then fall in love with the personality - as its a surprise for them.



Again - 2 years experience is quite significant -- you should be telling them that in the very first page of your CV and really selling your business marketable qualities whether the job is casual or professional -- all roads lead north if you put a lot of hard work in to get there :) PS I have no degree so started at the bottom rung -- so been there!



I wish you all the best :-) xo Joy

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